Navigating Difficult Emotions

Responding to Sadness, Anger, and Anxiety in Healthy Ways

Over the past week, I’ve experienced a wave of sadness I didn’t fully expect. It came from two directions at once. First, I’ve felt the ache of realizing that a whole season of my life has ended. My three oldest sons are now out of the house. I didn’t feel it in the moment when we dropped Kale off at college. But I felt it this week as I stood on the baseball field coaching without them—realizing those years of laughing, competing, and training together have passed. The tears came freely.

The second wave came when I heard the news that my 11-year-old nephew was diagnosed with type-1 diabetes. As someone who has managed this disease myself for 20 years, I know the physical and emotional toll it can take. I wept for him, for the challenges he will face, and for my sister and brother-in-law, who are processing such a life-changing reality as parents. My sadness has been deep, personal, and raw.

Sadness is a strong emotion, but it’s not a bad emotion. It’s one of the many difficult emotions we all face—alongside anger, anxiety, grief, shame, and regret. These emotions are part of being human, and yet most of us don’t like them. We try to hide them, avoid them, stuff them down, or distract ourselves from feeling them. It’s why so many of us run to food, alcohol, scrolling, streaming, work, or shopping. We want the quick dopamine hit that dulls the pain, even if it never addresses the root of what we feel.

The problem is that our attempts to escape difficult emotions often create new problems: weight gain, addiction, relational strain, debt, or burnout. God did not design our emotions to be ignored or numbed. He gave them to us as powerful tools for growth. The question is not whether we will feel them, but how we will respond when they rise within us.

Over the years, I’ve learned some healthy ways to respond to difficult emotions—not perfectly, but in ways that have helped me avoid destructive coping. Here are ten practices that may help you too.

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1. Name Them

The first step in dealing with any difficult emotion is to recognize and name it. This takes time, reflection, and prayer. I didn’t initially realize that what I was feeling this week was sadness. It took time sitting with the feeling, reflecting before God, and eventually saying out loud: I am sad. Naming our emotions is a powerful act of clarity. Tools like an “emotion wheel” can help us expand beyond vague words like “bad” or “mad” and put language to what’s really happening in our hearts.

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2. Take Them to God

Once you know what you’re feeling, the next step is to take those emotions to the Lord. He already knows your heart, so there’s no point in hiding. The Psalms give us permission to pray honestly—crying out in anger, grief, or fear. Ask God to show you the root of what you’re feeling and what He wants to teach you through it. Then ask Him for strength to endure and healing to move forward. As 1 Peter 5:7 reminds us, “Cast all your cares on him, because he cares about you.”

Tim Keller captures the connection between prayer and our inner world: “We should not decide in advance what we want our prayer to be, but let it grow organically out of our genuine concerns, fears, and joys. That means we must be honest about what is happening in our hearts.” (Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God)

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3. Talk to a Friend

God didn’t design us to carry the weight of our emotions alone. Women tend to be better at talking through their struggles, but men need this too. Find a trusted friend or mentor and share honestly about what you’re going through. Don’t just talk—listen as well. When we share our burdens and hear others share theirs, we not only process our pain but also strengthen the bonds of friendship. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time” (Prov. 17:17).

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4. Focus on God’s Character

In the storm of emotions, we need an anchor that doesn’t change. That anchor is God Himself. His character is steady, faithful, and true—no matter how we feel. One of our elders recently told me he goes through the alphabet in prayer, reflecting on one attribute of God for each letter: Almighty, Beautiful, Compassionate, Dependable, Eternal, Faithful, and so on. This practice shifts our focus from the instability of our feelings to the unshakable reality of God’s nature.

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5. Practice Gratitude

When we’re overwhelmed by negative emotions, gratitude can feel impossible—but it’s a powerful antidote. Start by listing out the blessings God has given you, from the smallest gifts to the largest. Gratitude reframes our perspective and reminds us of God’s past faithfulness. Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “Give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Gratitude doesn’t erase grief or anxiety, but it does infuse them with hope.

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6. Take Care of Your Body

Our emotions are not just mental or spiritual—they are deeply connected to our physical bodies. When you’re sad, angry, or anxious, your body feels it too. That’s why it’s critical to prioritize sleep, exercise, and healthy eating. Even simple breathing exercises—slow, deep breaths in and out—can regulate the body’s stress response. Paul reminds us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), which means caring for them is part of our spiritual response to difficult emotions.

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7. Don’t Rush the Process

We live in a culture that wants to “move on” quickly, but healing takes time. Don’t pretend you’re fine when you’re not. Journal your feelings. Sit in them before the Lord. Learn from them. God often does His most transformative work in us during seasons of waiting and lament. Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells us there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Don’t skip the weeping or mourning.

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8. Avoid Destructive Coping

It’s easy to self-medicate with food, alcohol, endless scrolling, or binge-watching shows. But in the long run, these only deepen our pain. Everything can be enjoyed in moderation, but when these become our go-to escape, they enslave us. Scripture warns us: “Don’t be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom. 12:2). Set limits. Know your temptations. Replace unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthier ones.

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9. Be Kind with Your Words

When we’re running hot with emotions, it’s easy to lash out at those closest to us. Sadness can make us sharp. Anxiety can make us short-tempered. Anger can make us lash out. This is why James warns us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (James 1:19). When your emotions are stirred up, slow down your words. Choose gentleness. Don’t let your pain spill out in ways that wound others.

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10. Fast

Finally, one of the most powerful ways to reorient our hearts is fasting. Fasting isn’t just about food—it can also mean stepping back from social media, entertainment, or anything we run to for comfort. The goal is to create space to seek God. Instead of numbing ourselves, we turn to Him. As Jesus said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (Matt. 5:6). When we fast, we are filled with Him.

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Final Word

This list isn’t exhaustive—it’s simply the collective wisdom I’ve gleaned from Scripture, from friends, and from personal experience. I still struggle. I still cry. I still wrestle with difficult emotions. But I’ve learned that God can use them to draw me closer to Himself and to others if I don’t run from them.

My prayer for you is that the next time sadness, anger, or anxiety comes knocking at your door, you won’t seek to escape. Instead, you will name them, take them to God, and walk with Him through them. He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). May His peace guard your heart and mind as you navigate the difficult emotions of life.

Amen.